Solo Dating: A Trend Toward Self-Love and Care
Solo dating is a mental health trend that is more about empowering individuals to foster self-love and self-care. It is normalizing that it is okay to feel good celebrating and doing something for yourself without needing to be with or consider others and learning how to enjoy your own company.
In more detail:
Solo dating also known as self dating is an act of going somewhere for enjoyment but instead of being taken out or going out with another person you are taking yourself out. By removing the other person and going out on your own you are engaging in an act of self-love and removing the need to have external validation for enjoyment. Solo dating is not just for single individuals it is something anyone in any relationship status can engage in.
The benefits and disadvantages:
When introducing the idea of solo dating to my clients we look at it from a lens of self-care allowing opportunity to explore and connect with yourself more authentically. When individuals are perfectionists or highly anxious people they tend to have low self-esteem and turn to external validation for happiness, leaving them to feel disconnected with themselves and unhappy overall.
Solo dating provides opportunity to develop a healthier relationship with ourselves because when we love, celebrate and enjoy ourselves we are more likely to be self-confident. Self-confident people can be more forgiving of themselves when things are going right or wrong. They have kinder and more rational thoughts which can lead to overall happiness and well-being
On a larger scale the benefits of taking oneself out on a date is normalizing the experience for others to see.
A lot of my clients say that they will actually discuss the “solo date” with those around them at the time as people tend to ask questions. We are often influenced by those around us so if we are seeing more individuals going out on solo dates and exuding happiness and self-confidence from the experience; in turns others will be inspired to do the same.
Some disadvantages to consider are potentially having to navigate any negative commentary from others during the experience and/or feelings of anxiety that may be present because solo dating may be out of your comfort zone. During these times individuals want to make sure they have the internal strategies and tools to not let comments or presenting anxiety symptoms negatively impact the experience or their self-worth.
This is something we discuss and develop in therapy together, if an individual does not have the confidence but would like to take themselves on solo dates.
Solo dating is personalized and may not be for everyone.
I view solo dating as a very personalized experience. So if someone is considering solo dating and has never done it before I recommend doing some self-exploration.
Some things to consider are: What activities do you find fun, give you pure bliss and/or you would be willing to try on your own?
Starting within your comfort zone can help make the experience more enjoyable. The difference between a solo date and hobby is the intention behind the activity which is going out of your way to plan something to do that would be fun, fulfilling and/or rewarding for yourself.
Solo dating ideas that others have enjoyed: Taking themselves out to dinner or a movie, going for a hike, kayaking, taking a class such as painting or cooking.
What one person does to love themselves may not be what the other would consider self-love and thats okay.
The importance is that whatever activity you are engaging in it is because YOU WANT to, not because you feel like you have to.
If solo dating is something you are considering but find your own mental health getting in the way, I would recommend considering therapy as a place to explore and support yourself in this area.
Offering individual, couples and family therapy to support individuals in this area.
Find out more here.