3 Tips for Making Friends & Finding Community as an Adult
Change often involves transitioning into new environments, such as moving to a different city, starting a new job, or entering a new phase of life.
When going through a significant change, it’s common for people to experience feelings of loneliness and a sense of longing for connection.
I am here to tell you, you are not alone. It’s normal. I promise.
Feeling alone during change is a common experience we all have been through, but it doesn't mean that one is truly alone. No matter where you are, there are always ways to find connection and a sense of belonging. Below are just 3 easy quick tips to help you get started:
1. Self-Reflect
From a person-centered perspective I always recommend a little personal self-reflection first. Why? Because it is easier to make friends when you have common interests! This takes a little time but create a list of hobbies, interests, and/or personal strengths. Think of the times you had the most fun socially or when you feel like your best self. Where were you? What were you doing? Who was there? What made it enjoyable?
Don’t skimp out on yourself. Make sure you write them out where you can read through what you have written. This could be on a piece of paper, in the “notes” application on your or phone in a journal. I am a firm believer that seeing and reading our thoughts helps aid us in clarity, self-reflection and problem solving!
2. Explore
Utilize resources available to you here! Based off your interests start searching to see what is accessible for you in person or better yet virtually to start doing the things you enjoy! Google local town events, ask around at work or try volunteer opportunities, gyms, taking the dog to the park, churches, and/or join your local Facebook community group and see what others have found. Really whatever is speaking to your soul here.
3. Commitment and Follow Through
Now it is time to get started! Open up your calendar, set an alarm, make a reminder, and start doing, attending and/or joining whatever it is that seemed motivating to you! Consistency is key here. You must give what you chose to do a chance. I usually say at least try it 3x whether that’s weekly, monthly, or maybe even a part of your routine daily depending on what it is.
Starting something new is always uncomfortable at first and takes a little bit of vulnerability. Again, this is normal. Anyone starting something new is a little nervous at first. That’s why choosing something you have an interest in, want to learn or feel skilled in is CRITICAL.
Additional tip for those who might face further hurdles when it comes to meeting new people or maintaining relationships.
It is common for those who have had past or present negative experiences such as being bullied, be-little’d or are living with mental health diagnoses like social anxiety to have increased feelings of loneliness. The result of these conditions often leads to a lack of social connection and feeling of being cared for. I highly recommend all individuals avoid comparing themselves to others, remind yourself that YOU ARE ENOUGH, not everyone is going to be your friend and that’s okay.
I encourage you to still try to follow the 3 tips above; do not feel bad about taking it slow and consider seeking help from a professional for extra support if the feelings persist.
RAE Counseling offers individual, couples and family therapy to support individuals in this area. Find out more here.